Mayden had been a blissful tempest of the most educational kind. Lucia had learnt HTML and CSS (still relevant to those who use 2D monitor based internet) and used it in a range of ways with careful attention to the flexibility of a browser and the ease of its user.

All valuable knowledge, granted, but she found that the most precious sources of endless inspiration were the hovering databanks, iArcs, that floated around Mayden. iArc stood for Informative Archive.

Much like - and just as ancient as - a somewhat limited equivalent to the Bots, they were small icosahedrons programmed with choice morsels of information and wisdom from the coders of old (which is invaluable to software built from legacy code). They had the ability to learn selectively and they were brought in to comment on code and on ideas for dev lunches, sprint planning and hack days. Their names were inscribed on the shells.

Now, some might call Lucia a bit eccentric for spending so much time with them but she found that they’d been coded with a few Easter eggs… for instance there was a running joke about rewriting the diary which she still didn’t quite understand.

“So, guys,” Lucia tripped over the misnomer, “do you have any advice you would give to a beginner dev?”

The icosahedrons in the room flashed gently and spinned while they pondered it. They were getting old.

A sudden stream of stringed sentences came from Rob Andrews, who was a delicate shade of powder-red. Yes. Use a text editor. A computer helps. Don’t write php. Objective-c is the best language. Decaf is evil. Solarized colour scheme is for hipsters, hipsters are bad. Postgres is superior to mysql. Don’t run in the corridor with scissors. Lucia chuckled.

The best advice for the general population is ‘Wear sunscreen’. But this doesn’t apply to devs - they generally don’t go out in the sun. So, my advice is: don’t wear sunscreen, because your keyboard will get greasy too. This came from Adrian Strahan, the pinky-purpley iArc.

A custard yellow iArc engraved with the name Dave Bould chirped, Keep reading! The other bots bobbed in assent. Sometimes it seems like everyone seems to know more than you, but that's not really true. Developers have concentrated knowledge in different areas and you can never learn everything. But do keep reading and learning about what interests you most.

A turquoise icosahedron named Joe Haines added Jeffrey way did a talk on basically what dave said.

Yes, yes. Try anything and everything. Get good enough with programming logic basics till you are happy knowing you could work in any programming language. This came from a burnished orange iArc, Matt Ellis, But don't be a full stack developer rock star douche bag, it lit up with mirth despite its flat voice.

The greeny gold metal polyhedron engraved with Jon Day’s name interjected, Read the Tao of Programming if you haven’t already… I always enjoy it and Seven Languages in Seven Weeks is awesome too.

… Further to that though remember programming is all based around something human hass created. It’s not something separate from us. Learn to read errors and remember that it was written by another person to try and help you when things go wrong. Not just some nonsensical gibbering being spat out by a machine. The irony of this was amusing but completely lost on the hovering machines, Lucia stifled a snort. Jon continued And also, try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.

Custard-Yellow-Dave floated up brightly, Oh that reminds me of a good one: Ignore it when people tell you one technology is better than another. A technology is a tool that helps you solve a problem, and the tool you’re most comfortable with usually does the best job at solving that problem. Providing that tool is fit for purpose of course.

Except when I say it, Powder-Red-Rob Then you should be using postgresql. Always.

Custard expressively sank to the floor, Hammering in a nail with a screwdriver has lead to some bad results in my experience.

Powder-Red made a beep synonymous with tutting, Cats are better than dogs. Absolutely postgresql nobody postgresql would be guilty of trying to postgresql push any technology postgresql as being postgresql better than others postgresql.

I really want to try Postgres now, not sure why... Custard-Dave then fired back with, Also, just because someone appears to be more experienced than you - or they may even tell you they are - it doesn’t mean their ideas are better than yours. Never be afraid to voice your opinion, nobody will ever chastise your for it.

Rob had to agree there, Yeah, my first job was memorable for two things: “I’ve been doing this longer than you, I’m right” and “You type too fast. You cannot surely be able to know what you’ve typed before you hit return. Type less fast.”

Speaking of which, chirped up Matt-Burnished-Orange, Don’t be ashamed of your old code, but recognise its flaws.

A metallic blue iArc behind Lucia chipped in, Everyone has said great stuff, just remember there's always too much to fit in your brain, so don't be overwhelmed - we all used to feel the same way, every day. The name on the icosahedron was Johnny Choudhury-Lucas. I try and apply a few simple rules I've drummed into myself over the years to my work life, all quotes from people far cleverer than I, that I can recite by heart. Maybe one or more might resonate, if not, find your own and be true to yourself:

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

  • ​Mahtama Ghandi​

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

  • ​Albert Einstein​

” Creative thinking may mean simply the realisation that there is no particular virtue in doing things the way they have always been done.”

  • ​Rudolf Flesch​

“The cure for a fallacious argument is a better argument - not the suppression of ideas.”

  • ​Carl Sagan​

Also, learn to love coffee. It is the beverage of Champions.

Custard started glowing warmly, Yes, coffee. And when you start attending conferences, dev lunches and meetups you’ll quickly find that you have to be quick with the free pizza. A pro Meetup goers accessory can help you avoid disappointment and heartache: the Pizza Lanyard.

Metallic-Blue-Johnny swivelled ponderously, Anyone who's been to meetups with me will know the pizza pouch is not needed - you need to adopt the "sandwich" approach - get two identically sized slices from different pizzas, smash them together and eat like a sandwich - no queueing for plates, no missing out on a second slice and a unique flavour fusion. The only downside is greasy pizzas can let you down - Pizza GoGo is guilty of this so beware.

This last statement passed Lucia by, as the chain had gone bankrupt seventy years earlier, presumably for its greasiness.

Nevertheless Dave was quite taken with this idea, You could store a spare “sandwich” in your pizza pouch; 4 slices, one queue.

That's smart thinking, said Metallic Blue.

Powder-Red had been mulling over this information and had an important contribution to make, Don’t eat cheese before bedtime, it paused, Not because of the dreams, but because you end up with cheesy breath in the morning. Nobody likes cheesy breath. Or teeth.